We've all heard about the orgasm gap…but what about the lube gap? Stop what you’re doing, get a paper and pen, and listen up.
BY THE ROAM TEAM 4 MIN READ
the ‘orgasm gap’, a term coined by Dr Laurie Mintz to describe the disparity in orgasms between heterosexual couples
In 2020, Forbes wrote about the ‘orgasm gap’, a term coined by Dr Laurie Mintz to describe the disparity in orgasms between heterosexual couples. Her research found that women have orgasms 39% of the time during sex, compared to 91% for men. Lesbian and bisexual women have also been found to have significantly more orgasms than heterosexual women, which also extends to a gap between women when they’re alone and when they’re with a partner.
But we’ve found something else, which isn’t being spoken about anywhere near as much and which could help close the orgasm gap for good.
The Orgasm gap has shown us that men are more likely to come than women during sex, but interestingly this seems to only be the case in heterosexual relationships!
So how does the lube gap tie in? Very well, in fact.
💡Gay couples are having far more orgasms than those in straight relationships, you ask why is this important? Because data tells us that gay couples are also far more likely to use a lube!
Research has found that whilst 75% of gay men use a lube, only 24% of straight couples do, which begs the question…why?
Whilst the most traditional use of lubes is for anal sex, lube is key for so much more. For most women, being dry can be a big problem on a regular, and unpredictable, basis. It’s very common to experience vaginal dryness (which can happen for a huge variety of reasons - see here!) but for women, it’s not something that’s spoken about enough. You might have read an article or two in Cosmo…but when was the last time you chatted to your girl friends about it? Not getting as wet as you had expected happens far more often than we admit and is far more normal than we give it credit for. Whilst a lot of the narrative about using lube as a woman is that you’ve “failed” in some way, a woman can be dry for reasons entirely unrelated to sex (she can be incredibly stressed, her medication might be affecting her natural lubrication, she might have lower levels of oestrogen at a certain time of the month…). Using lube also links to the toxic, but common, focus on sex being all about performance. For men, using lube can sometimes link to the hyper-masculine view that you have somehow failed to make a woman wet. As we’ve seen, arousal and wetness don’t always go hand-in-hand. And for a women, it’s nigh-on-impossible to orgasm if you’re dry. Talking seems to be key here, as does changing the narrative around sex and using lube.
Here’s where we get to the crux. We know there’s an orgasm gap, and we know that gay couples use lube (and come more) than heterosexual couples. Undoubtably there’s a link. Gynaecologist Dr Angela Jones has said that “Studies have shown that increased lubrication can help women experience more pleasure and satisfaction in bed” whilst a study from Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health determined that lube makes it 50% easier – for everyone – to orgasm. In other words, lube makes it 50% easier for BOTH guys and girls to come. For those of us in straight relationships, we’re missing something key here. The benefits of lube prove to be endless. For women, lube reduces friction, prevents against pain and discomfort, makes clitoral stimulation easier, and for those drier days (which happen to EVERYONE!) replicates the natural lubrication your vagina would usually supply. For men, it makes penetration easier, makes sex more long-lasting, and allows your partner to come more easily. And for a lot of heterosexual couples, the orgasm gap proves that this is a huge issue.
Use lube: come. Use lube: shut the orgasm gap.