Multi award winning activist, content creator and author of Fattily Ever After, Stephanie Yeboah, talks us through what sex positions are best suited for plus-size people.
BY CHIMA 7 MIN READ
A sex position where one person rests on all fours whilst their partner enters them from behind.
When it comes to sex, many of us have grown up being told what the ideal ‘sexy’ body is supposed to look like. Beginning at an early age, the messages we’ve received from the media as well as society have typically told us that thin, white, able-bodied people represent the apex of beauty.
We’ve been taught that if our bodies differ in any way from the standard of beauty presented within the media, we are unworthy of love, of acknowledgement, desire and sex. Very rarely have we seen plus sized people engaging in sex scenes within the media and when we do, they are often shot in a comical way that in some way makes fun of the participant’s size. It’s no wonder that a lot of bigger bodied people can sometimes feel wary and unconfident about getting down in the bedroom; sex for a lot of us can be impacted by fears of being judged on our bodies by our partners.
But it’s important to note that all bodies are worthy of having exciting, passionate, mind-blowing sex lives. For someone who lives in a bigger body, there are several traditional and modified positions available that can work with what you have in order to make sex more comfortable and pleasurable for you.
Here we’ll crack the code on some of the most comfortable sex positions for plus sized bodies!
This classic position is one of the best sexual positions for plus sized people, and the addition of pillows can provide a more comfortable experience, with heightened pleasure. In the doggy style position, one person gets on their hands and knees while your partner uses your hips to help them with leverage whilst they enter from behind. It allows for easy entry without worrying about whether your stomach will get in the way.
If your arms begin to ache after a while, you can lean down onto your forearms to rest them. This position also makes it easy to self-stimulate as you’re being penetrated.
This position is ideal if your partner is the right height to be able to enter you whilst they are standing up. You start off by lying on your back on a bed, with your hips scooted right up to the edge of the bed. Your partner stands at the foot of the bed and enters you, while you place your legs at a 90 degree angle on their chest or around their neck. Keeping your legs straight is crucial, as sudden bending of the legs could cause discomfort. Maximize the pleasure (and make your hips more comfortable!) by adding a pillow underneath your hips.
For bigger couples, spooning is a great alternative to more complicated positions, while still providing pleasure and a sense of intimacy and passion. For this position, your partner can enter you from behind on the bed while you are laying with your back towards them. Your partner can then alternate angles and also have easy access to touching the rest of your body.
For this fun position, you’ll need a sturdy chair and perhaps a few cushions for comfort. As an aside, it is best to do this position on a non-slip surface, such as a carpet! In this position, your partner sits on the chair while you straddle them on top, facing them. If you are unable to wrap your legs all the way around, you can also sit facing away from them, allowing them to enter you from behind. It may also be helpful to position the chair near a table or countertop for balance and added support.
There is a reason why the Cowgirl position is a fan favourite for bodies of all sizes, shapes and abilities. Not only does this position provide incredible visuals for your lucky partner, but it is incredibly big-body friendly and allows you to control the pressure and pace of the movement.
In this position, your partner lies down on the bed while you straddle them on top, either facing them, or facing away from them, towards their feet (reverse-style). For added comfort and to maximise pleasure, you can also add a couple of pillows underneath your partner’s hips to change the angle. Whilst on top, you are free to use your hands to touch them or touch yourself. If you find that riding upright becomes tiring, leaning forward against a wall or headboard can help support you while you continue to ride. Leaning forward like this also means that your partner has access to play with your chest area, enhancing stimulation.
Some of the best sexual positions for plus size people are also great for most people, as they provide a degree of comfort that anyone could enjoy. Ultimately, positions will vary from couple to couple, and requires open and honest communication, the confidence to express what feels good, and a willingness to experiment until you find something you both enjoy!