How to re-prioritise your sex life

It happens all the time, at every stage of life and every stage in a relationship. With busy work schedules, every-day stresses and noisy flatmates, it can be easy to de-prioritise your sex life, even though sex is beneficial for your physical and mental health in so many ways. Here are our best tips to get back into the groove.

BY THE ROAM TEAM 8 MIN READ

WORDS TO KNOW
Tantric sex

Tantric sex is a slow and meditative type of sex where the end goal is not orgasm, but instead appreciating and enjoying the sexual journey and how it feels to the body.

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1. Recognise how important sex is

Our first tip is one that sounds simpler than it looks. The reality is that prioritising something takes effort and confidence in one another. It's been proven that sex is not only good for your physical health, but mental health too, and strengthens your bond as a couple. In the same way, science has proven that the more you have sex, the better you are at it and the better your orgasms will be. There are many reasons to make sex a priority. It can be easy for life and routine to get in the way, but bringing sex and intimacy to the forefront of your mind is the first step to making it important again. Share this insight with your partner and have a conversation about re-prioritising sex again.

2. Shake up the pattern of how and when you have sex

Particularly in long-term relationships, one person tends to be the one to initiate sex, or both initiate in the same way every time. Instead of asking your partner if you want to have sex, for example, try teasing them first, then deny them the excitement of moving things into the bedroom, before finally giving in later. The results also change the mood beneath the sheets too…

3. Build up the tension

Science has shown that our brains experience more pleasure for the reward when the anticipation goes on for a while before it. If you're feeling a bit stuck in a rut, concentrate on leading your partner on. Take your time with the foreplay - perhaps that means you try out massaging each other, biting, couple's yoga or sharing your fantasies with each other, before you get down to business. 

4. Vary the sort of sex you're having

After a long day, falling back into the same sex routine is very normal, but doesn't always generate a feeling of excitement. Break up the routine and try new things during sex: if you're used to having tender, slow sex, try it a bit rougher. If that's what you normally do, try mutual masturbation to re-ignite the passion.

5. Explore something new

First, have a think about what you want to try. This might involve reading more about other sexual experiences, such as anal sex, tantric sex or pegging. Perhaps you want to try new sex positions, experimenting with toys or exploring kinks. Once you've decided what it is you both want to try, create a sex pick 'n mix jar for when you fancy mixing it up. Write everything you want to do together on note, fold them up and put them in a jar to pick out at random. 

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