Your guide to get your partner in the mood

Maybe you're into it but your partner isn't quite there, maybe you've both had hard days, maybe you're feeling a bit stressed…whatever the context, sometimes you and your partner can find yourself in a position where you want to have sex but you just need to find ways to bring the excitement back. Here's how.


Sensual Massage

A sensual and sexy massage is important for building intimacy and generating feelings of care before sex. It can be a great way of foreplay and turns your partner on before sex.


Start by talking

Communication is key to building intimacy, which is the first step to having sex. Chat to your partner, ask them how their day was and get to the crux of how they're feeling. Inspire intimacy and thoughtfulness in each other by showing how much you care and love them. They'll feel comforted and cared for as a result, meaning they'll feel encouraged to seek intimacy in other ways…

Get feely...

Human beings crave touch and feel better for it. Touch strongly indicates care and protection, building intimacy in turn. Get touchy with your partner, perhaps treating them to a massage, kissing them, hugging them or stroking their hair. Start small, especially if they're feeling fragile, and build up.

Sex up your conversations

Compliment your partner and tell them how sexy they are and how sexy they make you feel. If you're apart, send them a flirty message telling them how much you can't wait to feel their body later, or if you're with them, whisper it in their ear. Tell your partner what you love about your sex life or about a sexy daydream you've had. Let them know how much they please you and it will help get them in the mood too.

Treat your partner

If they're feeling particularly not in the mood, perhaps due to their own self-confidence, treating your partner to a new sex toy to try together, a different lube or a fresh set of lingerie, can be a subtle way to nudge them into the bedroom. You could also run them a bath, cook dinner for them, or buy them a fancy box of chocolates, suggesting you eat them off each other later on…If you're up for it, a lap dance never goes amiss either.

Take pressure out of the equation

Despite wanting to have sex, try and take the pressure off the end goal and enjoy the journey to it instead. It might take longer than you expect, or perhaps it will be quicker, but building up intimacy and turning you and your partner on should be an enjoyable and sexy experience - revel in that! Focus on the fact that sex is all about pleasure and making sure you're both having happy, safe sex. This is the most important part.

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